You hit it off with a cute, funny woman, and you both decide to move your physical relationship forward, but she feels she needs to tell you beforehand that she’s a breast cancer survivor and had a single mastectomy. If you decide “whoa, I’m not into asymmetrical girls;…
Complicated. There are a lot of things women do—like sex work, or staying home with children, or presenting as conventionally feminine—that are sometimes choices, sometimes not, and often in a weird in-between place of “I chose this, but also my life would’ve been harder if I didn’t.”
I don’t think that in-between place is the same as not making a choice, and it can be insulting to the agency of women to claim that. Someone who does sex work because it’s the best-paid job they can get is not in the same situation as someone who does it because they love it—but also not in the same situation as someone who’s being forced to do sex work. I think a lot of critiques of “choice feminism” conflate “I was influenced toward this choice” with “I had no choice, please rescue me, feminists!”
Or worse, with “I made an evil choice, please set me straight, feminists!” Which can get really ugly and confusing—women are being told that their life choices aren’t really choices and that those are wrong choices! This would be the “sex workers are victims, so let’s put them in jail” argument.
If your feminism consists of “everything a woman chooses to do is totally freely chosen and totally okay, and every choice is feminist” well, yeah, I disagree with that. That’s blatantly wrong. If a woman chooses to pay female employees low wages, or chooses to support abortion bans, or chooses to abuse other women—obviously these aren’t feminist choices just because a woman made them. And if a woman is doing sex work because she can’t support herself any other way, feminism owes her more than a hearty congratulations on her choice.
But I’ve seen so many people use mocking language about “choosey-choice!” to engage in old-fashioned shaming of women who make “wrong” choices about their sexuality and family lives, that it tends to get my hackles up.
I think a lot of this comes down, in the end, to: what are your action items? Like, if you think staying home with kids isn’t a freely made choice, are you supporting ways to give women more options… or are you smugly wagging your finger at women who stay home?
I think your answer to that matters more in the long run than how you feel about the word “choice.”
I’m asking you guys to do this because one of my friends says that no one knows who Julie Andrews is. I’m trying to show her that people really do know who she is.
So plz help a girl out, and thank you. :3
Julie Andrews 5eva
the lack of notes is frightening
THE THEATER QUEEN
What. WHAT. How can someone not know who she is? SHE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE OF ALL THE NATIONS.
Do you mean a World Treasure?
Julie Andrews played the Queen of Genovia, duhhh.